


More Understood

by MoonOwl



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Eremin Day 2013, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-21
Updated: 2013-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-27 06:04:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/975308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonOwl/pseuds/MoonOwl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don't think you understand, Armin. I'm a monster. I have literally become the thing I hate.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Understood

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Eremin Day '13!

Eren hadn't been himself lately.

That was completely understandable. Considering all he had been through as of a late, it would have been more concerning if he continued as if everything was normal. 

But this was too strange. Normally passionate and focused, Eren had become distant and indifferent. 

Eren said nothing at dinner that night. Barely took a bite at his food yet he never looked up from it. Left just as quietly as he spent his meal. 

After Eren's departure, Mikasa looked down at her plate. Armin gave her a look. Looking out of the corner of her eyes, she acknowledged what he was thinking. She knew that something was up as well. She also knew that it would be best if Armin was the one to speak to him about it. Armin gave her a slight nod and stood up. He left the mess hall and went for the boy's barracks. 

Armin found Eren sitting alone in his bed, hugging his knees close to his chest.

“Eren?” Armin asked, peering through the doorway.

Eren didn't look up. 

Armin took a deep breath and walked towards him. “I know something is bothering you. Why don't we talk about it?”

“'s nothing” Eren mumbled, pulling his knees closer to himself.

Armin gently sat down on the edge of the bed. 

“Eren, I've known you since before we could walk. I've never seen you like this.”

No response. 

Armin reached out his hand. It hovered above Eren's. “Can I hold your hand?”

Eren looked up briefly and nodded to say “yes”. Armin slowly took one of his hands and laced his fingers with his own. 

“What's wrong?” Armin asked softly.

Eren's lower lip began to tremble. Like dams, his eyelids tried to hold back pools of tears. “You heard what they said.” 

Armin furrowed his brow and nudged closer. “What are you talking about?”

“I'm a freak! I'm a disgusting abomination, didn't you hear them, Armin?!” 

“About...you?!” Armin exclaimed. “Eren, you're not a freak or an-”

“Then explain it! Explain why I'm like this!” Eren's voice dangerously rose in volume. He let go of Armin's hand and stormed off of the bed. “I don't remember anything, I don't know what's going on, or what's happening to me.”

Armin was lost for words. When he tried to speak, his mouth felt dry and immovable. 

“I don't think you understand, Armin. I'm a monster. I have literally become the thing I hate.” 

This was normal, natural, to be expected, Armin tried to assure himself. His best friend was going through a major change in his life and it was scary. That change just happened to be finding out that he could transform into the type of creature that devoured his mother before his own eyes.

“No. No you haven't.” Armin mustered up all the courage he could find within himself. He had to help his friend. “You're not like the other Titans. You're helping us, Eren, we might finally have the tool that defeats them, and that's you.” 

“But what if I'm not able to control myself? I almost killed Mikasa...What if I had?! I would have been no better!” Hot tears were streaming down his face. His chest heaved in sobs. 

Armin got off of his seat on the bed and threw his arms around Eren, holding onto him as if it was his own dear life. He let Eren sob into his shoulder. One of his hands moved up to caress Eren's dark brown hair. Soft shushes left his lips to soothe him. 

Armin pulled his free arm tighter around his friend. “Eren, listen to me. I'll be there for you. You're never going to be alone in this. Don't you remember me talking to you in Trost? Don't think I wouldn't do that again for you. Mikasa and I will never abandon you. We could never give up on you, ever. You're my closest friend. I love you too much to ever leave you.” 

Slowly, Eren lifted his head from Armin's shoulders. His reddened eyes stared into Armin's. He brought his hands up to gently cup Armin's cheeks. Armin relaxed into his touch and smiled up at him. Eren choked back one last sob and closed the gap between their faces. Eren's chapped, bitten lips brushed against Armin's soft ones. Armin raised himself on the tips of this toes to better kiss him. His hands found themselves pressing lightly against Eren's chest. It was sweet and gentle, but also desperate and longing. 

“I know.” Eren whispered when they parted, his voice still hoarse. For the first time and days, he smiled, even if it was just small, shy grin.

Armin had never said that before-that he loves Eren. It was more understand between them. A fact that they had known since childhood. But, it was something that Eren needed to hear. That through it all, Armin would still be by his side, no matter what. That their love was a constant in their lives. 

Armin closed the gap between them once more. He never wanted to stop kissing Eren, not for a moment. He wanted to stay like this forever. No Titans, no death, no nothing. Just he and Eren. There were some many things he wanted to tell Eren, to console him further. He wanted to tell Eren that he was wonderful and perfect and handsome and strong and loving and just simply everything Armin adored, but he didn't want to end this moment of peace that belonged to them and only them. 

Soon the others would return from dinner. They parted and sat back down on the bed. Eren nuzzled himself into Armin's shoulder. They would not have minded if anyone walked in on them snuggled up together. It was a known fact throughout the 104th trainees squad that Eren and Armin were not like most other best friends. 

They sat in silence for a moment. Armin idly played with Eren's hair. He turned his neck to place a kiss top of his head. “Do you think you'll be okay soon?”

“I don't think I'll ever be totally okay with this.” Eren sniffed. “But I might be better. Soon.” He snuggled closer into him. 

Armin placed his mouth against Eren's hair once more. “You did not ask for this. However this happened, it's not your fault. You didn't choose the circumstances of how it began,” Armin smoothed a lock of hair behind Eren's ear. “But you get to choose the circumstances of how it ends.”


End file.
